Blogging with a difference: Don't let pain go in vain

When we lose someone dear, things go blur. Comprehending anything or anyone seems useless. Consoling ourselves might appear pointless.

But do you want to let the pain go in vain?

Do you want to grieve the loss? Or do you want to celebrate their life?

We need to be strong. Become responsible. Do it for others, do it for ourselves.

It's alright to be hurt. It'a alright to fall, to bleed, but you ought to make sure that when you get up, you try and run. Use the pain as the reason not to let go, not the excuse to let go.

Appreciate things better. Make sure you change when there's time. Don't let it happen again.

What you can do when in pain:

1. Pain teaches us humility. Pain helps us realize how precious the things we have are. It helps us respect others, it increases our capacity for good (or evil). Understand pain.

2. When in pain, make it your motivation, let it burn your weaknesses, make it your teacher.

3. Let it help you focus, let it augment your emotional mettle, let it help you introspect. Let it help you take a break. Distractions can be good, don't let them become deviations.

4. Let it help you love, let it help you care, let it help you appreciate.

What to do when you're NOT in pain

Go and make friends  Real ones, the ones who don't need you, and don't just be with them till you need them. Be with them when you don't need them, be there with them at their worst, not just their best.

Help reduce others' pain. Don't just be satisfied with your own happiness. Look into the pain of others around you,be happy to help.  But don't help others for a sense of gratitude, do it because you care, because you want to appreciate what you have, because you want to appreciate them, and appreciate the world. Don't say they were not there for you, when you were not there for them.

Understand the importance of today Try to think, of how it was when it hurt, and understand WHY it's important you don't forget how important today is. Think of how much worse it could be, and make sure you won't later regret not acting today .

Stop saying you're grateful, start behaving like you are. Make a difference today. Rekindle the light that's gone off. In relationships, in work, in life, and in passion. Expect resistance and inertia, be ready to overcome them.

Smile when you should be angry  Start with smiles.When people dear do something that makes you angry, irritates you, smile,and smile from within. Give them smiles if you're embarrassed to admit you care to their face. If you can't do it while things are heated make sure you do it later. Just because they understand it doesn't mean they don't need reassurance.

Helping those in pain:

Be there even if you don't understand  Be realistic. It's impossible to understand pain unless you've experienced it. Stop saying you understand when you don't .Acknowledge your inability to understand( Even if you don't say it out loud). Be there for them, despite it. Don't run.

Give strength not pain  Don't let tears go to waste. Give people strength. Talk about what they can do, or how you can help. Don't preach. Don't inquire into it in a way it's painful. Most importantly, don't break while helping others (or at least try not breaking).

Keep reaching out to them:  Try to be part of their pain. Call them. Meet them. Make sure you're not being irritating. Show that you care, but don't interfere if they don't want to share. Don't intrude.

Stop trying to augment or belittle pain  Stop trying to project that it's a great loss. Mention and let go, don't nag. Don't keep reminding them while you console them. Also, don't try to make it look as if it's not a big deal, and even if it is, show how it can be overcome, not overlooked.

What not to do when helping others:

Stop underestimating pain: Try to imagine how bad things can get. Don't generalize. When helping others, don't say it happens to everyone if it doesn't. Help them recover, not just realize.

Don't object when they enjoy instead of being in grief  There's nothing wrong in enjoying even when in pain, even if it's against beliefs, people's happiness is more important than customs and deep rooted beliefs.

Don't keep advising,listen Give advice if and when it's needed. But don't cut the strings when it's not. Listen. Care. Help them conquer hurdles without directly suggesting how.

Change begins now, so make a difference today!!

Cheers and smiles,

See ya around :) :) :D

(Note: if you find my articles helpful, please like and share them. If you find them not apt , or even just slightly off-mark, please tell me why you feel so, your criticism matters, and so does your appreciation. Keep checking my new blogs( changebegins.net & .in...will be migrating there soon :) :) :D)