Blogging with a difference

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Trust and compromises

Trust is the life-blood of relationships. An insecure person cannot trust anyone. Trust takes courage. Trust takes faith.

Relationships make life beautiful beautiful. Sadly, not all relationships are meant to be.When you pour your heart and soul in relationship, how do you stand by when differences tear it apart? Why let go of something really beautiful?Is it wrong to be selfless?

No. So let go of the selfish desire not to let go. Some times, letting go is the only way to hold on. If the person doesn't care, then perhaps it's better to realize they don't deserve you.

But then we ask ourselves, is it wrong to adjust eleven out of ten times ( :X :X), to be understanding? Not really, someone's gotta be more understanding.

Adjustment is not compromise. Understanding is not letting someone take undue advantage of you. From another vantage point, understanding and adjustment help you let go of ego, help you be more tolerant to discord. Compromise forces to you let go of self-respect.

Adjust. Understand. Be flexible. Don't compromise.Live with pride, not ego. (More on this later ;) )

(Note: if you find my articles helpful, please like and share them. If you find them not apt , or even just slightly off-mark, please tell me why you feel so, your criticism matters, and so does your appreciation. :) :) :D)

(Note 2: This is my first time trying to drive home two points with half the number of words..please share your views on whether you like this better. Or find it worse :X)

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Monday, June 4, 2012

Because YOU matter to me

Each and every one of us is special, but what is it that stops us from being ground-shattering fantastic??

Because we make it about ourselves. What's the use of having a dream which doesn't include everyone..everything?

So this is my request to you. Help me understand how I can help the world.

Tell me what you think about the way I write. Tell me what you want me to write about. Tell me how it can be better.

If you don't like it let me know why. If you think it's childish, I request you NOT to refrain from saying so straight up. If you think it's foolish tell me so.

Let's create something beautiful. I write because I must, because I can't stop, but it's your support that gives me the solidarity to write better, with more vigor, and with greater conviction. Your comments, irrespective of the nature matter to me, because everyone matters, everything is important.

Kindly leave your comments on this page, on fb or email it to emperor.k@gmail.com ,

Let's help ourselves dream. Let's create something that makes a difference.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Growing up and the myth of seriousness

It is said childhood never comes again, but still the tall talks of growing up keep floating in the air. When we were children, we were free from the burden of jobs, package race, status, contacts, etc, but then, most of us chose to grow up. I can't help but ask myself:

Does growing up mean not enjoying what we could when we were kids?

Does it mean we ought enjoy what others expect us to, and not what we actually do?

Does it mean acquiring clout takes precedence over acquiring friends?

Or does it mean putting up a serious face, and distance ourselves from pleasures people consider naive?

Life is really important. Is it not but natural to place survival and acceptance above joy? It is.

That's where being sincere comes in. Sincerity is putting your heart and soul into something, and making it happen, even if you have to do so just because it leads to something more important, and by itself may not be that important. It's about loving what you do, when the converse is not immediately feasible. It's about being carefree, but never careless.

Seriousness is something different, it is realizing that you need to do something, but rather than just doing it, making others believe by way of expression and appearance, rather than more so by action, that it's important. It's about telling people how hard it is rather than realizing the simplicity in things.

Doing math because you fear the test Monday, and not going out on the weekend, even though you know you won't begin studying till Sunday late evening is serious. Sitting in class despite it being uninteresting is being serious.

Being motivated to study by the test on Monday is sincere. Finishing study by Sunday morning, because you care, is sincere, going for an early movie on Sunday night is sincere. Bunking class because you learn nothing, but being at home to study that subject whole day, is sincere.

Not all of us do what we love, but it is more than just possible, to love what we do. We can think of the benefits, the purpose, the reasons for putting up with it in the first place, rather than waiting for it to finish and keep looking at the clock. We can start doing what we love in small steps today, so that we won't have to be stuck with loving what we do tomorrow.

Life is too precious to be taken seriously.

But what about growing up?

Well....

Do parents not become children when they play with their kids?

Do fully grown Indian cricket fans not jump in joy when Sachin hits a century?

Do we not really get the best out of life, when we are children?

So should we break the shackles that tie us down? Not really, just leave yourself lots of slack. Having feet on ground, and something to hold on to is important.

So should we try to grow up at all??

Well I believe we shouldn't even try.

I say, Don't grow up, grow responsible. Never let go of the child in you.

Cheers and smiles :) :) :D ,
See ya around.

(Note: if you find my articles helpful, please like and share them. If you find them not apt , or even just slightly off-mark, please tell me why you feel so, your criticism matters, and so does your appreciation. :) :) :D)

Friday, June 1, 2012

Greed leads to ruin?? Eh.. Does, it??

Understanding greed:
They say greed is bad. Greed brings ruin. If so, then should not the world's progress be inversely related to greed? Our understanding can deepen if we look at greed from various perspectives, and try to find our own answers to questions like these:

When parents look after their children, they expect their, love, kindness and gratitude in return, is this greed?

Does the thirst, the zeal, the greed for knowledge not form the foundation stone of all learning?

Does greed not motivate people to improve, to make the world more competitive?

When someone offers you advice, does not their expectation for appreciation equal greed?

When you love someone with everything you've got, is it greedy to expect them to do the same?

If you've found your answers to these, then, another one : Is greed good? The answer to all of these is simple: Greed might not be good, but is one of the inseparable flaws of human nature, something you need to accept, and deal with. Then what of the scriptures? Do they challenge your understanding from the previous few lines?
Again, the answer is simple, the scriptures, with little doubt are the guiding light to a better world, but before we talk of the scriptures, should we not try and be worthy of what they preach? What if our understanding of the scriptures is flawed? Should we not try and follow what they mean, rather than what they say?
If you indeed feel that you need to improve your understanding of the same, then you need to deal more amicably, towards a solution rather than fighting the problem.

I shall share my understanding,and approach I believe in, in the lines that follow:

Dealing with people, and greed:

1. The first thing to do, is that one must try and appreciate people for what they are, not what they want people to be. The world is imperfect, and that is why it's beautiful. It is important to cherish people because of their faults, not despite them.

2. Should you try and kill greed? No. Subordinate it to greater good, a higher impulse, to what your heart truly wants rather than what the world impresses on it. Would it be possible to be really rich, without being greedy? Maybe not, but it definitely cannot happen because of it, for instance, it was Sir Richard Branson's love of adventure, and risk taking attitude that enabled him to create the Virgin empire, it was J.K. Rowling's understanding of human nature, her great struggle that enabled her to create her international sensation. It was not their greed. In simple words: Money is a terrific slave, a good servant, but a terrible master. Make it a small part of your vision,yes, small.

3. How do you inspire and work your subordinates who have the veil of greed over their eyes? Inspire innovation. Inspire them to create something new, reward their efforts, and value their insights, with appreciation, not just with monetary incentives. Allow them some freedom, help them challenges themselves, to take risks and responsibility, do not merely delegate these, do not lay the challenges down yourself, all the time.

Impressing the right perspective onto oneself:

Is selflessness non-existent? May be, may be not. When you think of Mother Teresa, does not smart talk fail to explain her efforts, her way of life?

Should you try and be selfless, beyond doubt? Not really, just stop being arrogant, self-centered and selfish.
There is a great grey area between the extremes, long enough to inspire a life of successful endeavor.

So, should one be greedy? Again, my favorite phrase, HELL NO!! But I can't help quote, "Stay hungry, stay foolish" ;) :D

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Some subtle lies,and death by OK.

How most of us land up in okay:
When I was a kid I was taught to dream, to believe that everything under the sun was in reach.As I grew older, I was taught dreamers are of little value in this world, to survive, you gotta be in the race. In 10th grade, I was told the boards would determine my future, in twelfth, again the same, and in grad school, I was taught that a good GPA would mean a glorious life.
Today I know better than ever, this isn't very true, in fact, not true at all. I ask myself at times, why bother? Life's OK today, and I can always pursue my dreams later. Also, everybody does it, or at least most do, and the world doesn't lie, does it? But then I realize,

**When things are bad, you learn about life, learn who your friends are, you sometimes even get closer to your loved ones, and you have life changing experiences. It can be really tough, it hurts, a lot, but with enough faith you can be happy, understand that pain can be good, and it's not like this by choice.

**When things go really well, you are cheerful, happy, and can spread this bliss to others, or at worst, blow it up and learn to value what you have and change.

Here comes the shocker:

** When you're okay, you learn nothing. You delude yourself into thinking you're happy, measure yourself by others' standards, redefine your happiness, associate easy with pragmatic, and forget how to dream. You push away what your dreams farther than you can imagine and throw away the most valuable thing in the world- time.

Okay is when you know you're not happy, but say you are, not to others, but to yourself. It's when you know you're wasting time, but continue to do so because it doesn't hurt much yet. It's when you wait for the pain to become unbearable before you admit to being in the state of mind you are. Last but not the least, it's to be in this state because most of the world is.

How to identify if you're suffering from okay:
You always know when you're "okay". Because it's you can't be "okay" unless you choose to be. The greatest strength of okay is that is fools you into thinking you're not in this state, so how do you identify it? How do you know you're not lying? Deep down, inside, you always know, but how to make sure you bring it to the surface. Here are a few indicators of okay:

1. When someone asks you if you're doing good,and you reply good, your expressions betray you, when your hands and shoulders, don't indicate what your words do, your eyes scream "Hell NO", or try to find an excuse not to look into the eyes of the person asking.

2.When you get up in the morning, and are NOT excited or anxious about work. ('Cause when it's bad you're definitely anxious or be real calm, but are never "okay", and when it's good you're cheerful and excited.)

3.When you need to find reasons, to explain to yourself you're happy.When it just doesn't darn feel right.

4. When you're bored too many times a day( and for a sizable amount of time, not like 15 seconds ;) )

5. If everything is going too well, it means you're definitely doing something wrong. It's time to start the slow tweaking, to take more risks, to go from good to great, and even higher.
How to get out of okay:

1.When things are going wrong, or even not exactly how you want them to, admit they are, if not to others, at least to yourself. Admit things are going bad, and put your best effort to change that, and even if you don't blow away the circumstances, you'll be happy, because you do what's your heart tells you to.

2. Think of the most important thing in your life, what keeps you going, and be grateful for that, and start repaying the ones responsible.

3. Dream big, reallllllyy big, but dream as what you are, not as someone else, at least for too long, It's time to stop dreaming and envisioning.

4. Believe in yourself, let go of the inhibitions, have faith, because faith is the gift, not the way to it.

Last but not the least, don't confuse okay with a sublime state of bliss, wherein you're doing exactly what you should, and without good reason you're happy. It's alright to be happy without a reason, because you're meant to be happy, to cherish each and every moment of you're existence. ( Credit for this realization goes to Guruji, Pt Sri Sri Ravi Shankar,more @ http://srisriravishankar.org/ )

In other words, sometimes you don't need a reason, but if you need to convince yourself again and again, than probably there's trouble.
In a nutshell: bad is good, good is great, and okay is bad, so I hope you're not okay ;)

Cheers and smiles, see you around everyone :) :) :D

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The illusion of inability and how we can choose to change

This story goes back a few years in time, but light years with regards to the way I looked at life.A few years ago, there was this boy who was apprehensive about everything, what he wanted to do, why, and for whom.In the land of a billion, I find it surprising that the masses choose the few "hallowed" professions. You 're an engineer, lawyer, or doctor before you're out of primary school.
The fault hardly lies in the society.Society is nothing more than the people's attitude and ideas greatly magnified. There is no lack of creativity in India, and few facilities which help it burgeon, but this is NOT the issue of prime importance. The fault lies in the people's reasons for doing things.
Till we want to be software engineers so that we can have a portion of the green, till we want to be doctors so our lives are settled, till we want to get in to b-school because of the "great package story" we can't hope that the society will change.
I admit, I'm guilty on all counts. I wanted to be an engineer because of the so-called "competitive edge", and then I'd be on to the MBA story before I knew why.But life had different plans.
I was diagnosed with AS( Ankylosing Spondylitis) in 2nd year. I was never a physical activity person.Some called me lazy, some uninterested, and others bookish.Only I knew how I wanted to play cricket but couldn't run, to play badminton but couldn't really jump, and how my inquisitiveness was easily beyond books . My awkward gait and inability to move freely also made me unsocial to an extent, not to mention the person at whose expense people had a great time.But all that was the minor part of the issue, the worst part was that I chose to believe there was nothing I could do.
I could have been more sociable If I chose to, If I did not pay heed to the bullies and embraced my gifts I'd have done wonders.Instead of claiming it to be unfair I could have accepted that life is unfair, and gooey things happen and only I could choose to change it. I find it kind of funny now when I counsel ( sorry for the big word ;) :) ) others, and hope to give them strength.
Today I dream of an India full of adventure, where people create,work for themselves, and of a world where everyone can tell their story without the fear of who and how,do what their heart tells them, free from the bondage of society.Inability is an excuse, if you want to really do something, you'll find a way. Change begins today, right now.
I've begun my journey towards my dream venture, and the story which I hope to tell (My novel :D ). Don't wait, don't give in to the "I can't do it , I need time- attitude." Begin your journey today, right now if you haven't already.
Let's create a world where people are unashamed of their story, a world where people dare to fail forward, and then succeed, not fall backward.

Cheers to life :) :) :D

( Note: Forgive the typos, I'm jabbing at the lappy in a hurry ;). The credit for some of the terms I used, and for inspiring me to write goes to Jeff Goins, @ http://goinswriter.com , thanks a ton Jeff)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Beginning of the Tale

Life is a journey...One with humble beginnings, but there are those who are afraid of beginning. With the right attitude life is a bliss, success can be routine and ubiquitous.This blog is dedicated to all those who want to move forward.Cheerio!